5 TIPS FOR STARTING YOUR SELF-COACHING JOURNEY
For many of us, throughout our career the thought of finding and working with a mentor can be daunting and intimidating. Do you seek out someone within your organization? Do YOU go external? Should you pay for an executive coach? It’s a lot to consider and knowing the WHY of your coaching needs and YOUR readiness to embrace it is key!
I’d like to think of my mentoring/coaching journey no different than I look at training for any sport or even just a workout routine at the gym. Over the years I have had personal trainers at the gym who I met with a few times a week and they put me through my paces. In some cases those relationships “clicked” and in other cases, I really felt they didn’t understand me and what I was looking to achieve. So over the years, I have taken the best from some of my workout routines and exercises to build up what works for me and my overall fitness goals.
So following along the workout analogy, I want to share my top 5 TIPS for starting your self-coaching journey based on what I have found has worked for me. If you are not ready quite yet to jump in and find a mentor or executive coach this may a good way for YOU to get started!
1. Take a Personality Profile Test: There are many different instruments out there (Myers Briggs, DISC, etc) and depending on if you want something free or if your company has one that they pay for, it’s less about the tool but more what you can learn about yourself. The key here is to embrace your strengths and take a hard look in the mirror at your weaknesses. It’s about recognizing how these personality traits propel you in certain situations and can derail you in others. Can you use this to prepare when you are facing difficult situations or moments when you want to be at your best? Can you debrief with yourself after those key moments to admit what went well and what you could do better next time? Following the sports analogy…you need to watch a lot of tape right after the game to see what adjustments need to be made for next time. Knowing your core personality traits and being honest about who you are and what needs work is the first step in your self-coaching journey.
2. Do a 360 Including a Variety of Subordinates, Peers & Leaders. A 360 is where you get input on your performance or behaviours from a number of different people who have varying perspectives based on your working relationship. This is another area that your company can potentially help you if they have a formal process you can access. If you are not comfortable with that or your company doesn’t have a process you can always do it on your own or have a friend coordinate it for you. The idea is to come up with a list of people that will give you candid feedback about your performance. The key is to NOT stack the deck with only “fans” of yours. If you are truly looking to improve, you should also include those that seem to NOT be in your corner all the time. You can create a more formal, structured process with tools like Survey Monkey where responses are anonymous, or you can keep it as simple as coffee and a conversation. If you choose to do it in person it is important to reassure the other person that you are open to the feedback and that no matter what they tell you, you will thank them for being candid and honest. Then YOU actually have to follow through with it and leverage it as moment of growth not retaliation or denial.
3. Understand YOUR Core Values. If you are like me, you have a sense that you have strong core values and EVERYONE around you knows that about YOU too. One of the lessons learned about our leadership journey is that “if everything is important than nothing is important”. So the question is, if I asked you to name your top 5 core values right now could you do it? If I asked people that worked with you or your friends & family if they knew what your top 5 core values were would they be able to name them and would they all be the same at work and at home? A big part of my self-coaching journey has been establishing my core values and evaluating them regularly (it’s ok if they change over time). It also means, sharing them with others as a point of conversation and connection to test if what you SAY your values are match what others experience when they interact with YOU. You can find out more on how YOU can do a core values exercise here.
4. Set a Goal, Keep a Journal, Write a Blog, Do a Vlog….Keep Track. As with any improvements in our personal or professional life you need to set goals and a way to track your progress. If you go back to my example about your workout routine, you know if you are making progress by tracking your weight, BMI, # of reps or adding more into your routine. In my self-coaching journey, I have found blogging to be very helpful. The goal I have set for myself is at least 1 blog post a week. It has to outline what I learned or what I need to improve on, it can’t just be a venting session where I am the hero and everyone else was the problem (ever catch yourself feeling that way some weeks?). It has helped me immensely over the last 7+ years and it is interesting to go back to some of my early entries and celebrate how far I have come. These have also proven as good “resets” to remind me of practices I need to maintain to keep myself from derailing or being “better” in difficult moments I am facing.
5. Find an Accountability Buddy…Forum…Group or Community to Keep YOU on Track. One of the greatest gifts in my self-coaching journey was to identify an accountability buddy to keep me motivated. In the early days, it was someone I admired, trusted and was committed to helping me. I would send my weekly blog posts over to him and often he would write back and share his own perspective and stories. This was a key factor in maintaining my self-coaching practices knowing I had to submit my blog each week. Now a days, I have my “women who wine” that are of all different ages, backgrounds, counties and cultures. We support one another and keep each other on track to maintain the commitments we make to ourselves.
Additional Thoughts on Engaging a More Formal Mentorship or Executive Coaching Relationship
While I have outlined some of the steps YOU can take to start down the path of self-coaching, at some point engaging in a more formal program can definitely have benefits. Here are a couple of suggestions to get you started:
Mentorship
This is the easiest one in my opinion to access and it does not have to be as intimidating and difficult as it may seem. You don’t have to pick just one and it isn’t a permanent decision. Your mentor can be someone inside or outside your company. My bias is that it should NOT be your boss and YOU should NOT chose someone solely based on their title or position. The key is to identify someone you trust, someone you feel shares YOUR core values, someone who will ask a lot of questions to get you to think and is invested in helping YOU (not just talking about themselves). If you aren’t sure if this is the right relationship for you, set up time to “network” with the person and feel them out. If you do want to proceed maybe time box it to six sessions once a week or once a month – whatever works for you both. That way you both have an “off-ramp” to adjust or end your mentoring relationship. The key here is to set goals, milestones and establish what you want to achieve from this mentor program no matter if it is time boxed or outcome based (i.e. mentor you through an interview process).
Executive Coaching
I have benefitted from Executive Coaching over the years starting with my first coach which was sponsored by my boss and paid for by my company. I was early in my career and I considered it a gift and a signal that I was worth investing in. Executive coaching is not cheap which is why you should work with your company to see if there are programs you can access to pay or off-set the cost. Executive coaches are certified and trained in leadership development and have access to more structured instruments, tools and mechanisms to help you identify and achieve your professional development goals. While I have had company sponsored coaches I have also paid for them myself as an investment in my own career development. Executive coaches can really fast track and work with you on your leadership capabilities. They can prepare you and coach you to be the best YOU….YOU can be. Like my sports analogy, these are professional coaches and are there to help YOU play your position really well or be ready for that next big game. They are there to push you and help you see ways you can be better for the next time YOU take the field. YOU have to put in the hard work in between sessions and they are there to aid you in evaluating your progress and give you additional exercises to fine tune and build up your capabilities. I have always found my executive coaches from recommendations from my company or from leaders I admire who have used these coaches themselves. It may take some research on your part to find the right coach and I encourage you to take your time given the financial investment behind it.
In Closing…
Whether you choose to try and self-coach, engage a mentor or look for an executive coach it is all about what works best for YOU at this stage of your life and professional career. In all of these scenarios there is NO escaping that YOU have to be prepared to put in the time and work needed to maximize your results. There is NO ONE who can just magically wave a wand to get you the role or position YOU think you deserve or want. There is also NO ONE who has all the answers. You have to find the right process or coach to work with you so YOU can come up with the answers within yourself.
The key is to JUST BEGIN!
Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU:
· Have YOU been thinking about engaging a mentor or executive coach lately? What are the 2-3 things that are motivating you to do that and what are the 2-3 things that are holding you back?
· What do you think about the idea of self-coaching? Is it something you think YOU could do or what would hold you back?
· What do YOU think of the 5 tips for self-coaching and are there any that you would change or add?
· What advice do YOU have for others on how to find a mentor or executive coach? Do YOU think there is an advantage of one over another?
· What do YOU think of the sports analogy and ease of adoption versus the stigma or willingness to embrace coaching in Corporate America? Professional sports teams would never dream of winning top prize without coaches – why do we think we can do without it in the business world?
Thanks for reading….and remember…YOU make a difference!
Please continue the conversation by liking…commenting or sharing this article. You can also follow Marcie on twitter @marciedwhite or read more of her articles at www.marciedwhite.com
