Snippets of Truth

May 13

May 13 Snippets of Truth

authenticity, inspiration, mentoring, motivation, self coaching

First a Story...

Mother's Day a few years ago just happened to coincide with "The Day After Prom" for my daughters high school graduation. Hers was no different than any others filled with friends... fancy dresses... the event and the after parties.

Fast forward to around 2 am Sunday morning her friend Marissa is standing in our bedroom doorway and the conversation went something like this...

Friend (whispering loudly in a calm...easy voice): "Mrs White...Mrs. White. Emily wasn't feeling well so we brought her home."

Me (shaking myself awake and in a calm voice in return): "Thanks for getting her home safely. What do you mean she isn't feeling well?"

Friend: "She's laying on the floor downstairs and she is sick"

Me: "What kind of sick is she? (I was pretty sure I knew but didn't want to assume anything) Ate bad sushi sick...drank too much sick...or something else?"

Friend (reluctantly responding): "Um... I think she is "drank too much" sick"

After ensuring her friend got home safely too... I spent the rest of the night trying to get Emily to drink some water while she lay on the floor.*

I had gotten Snippets of truth that led to understanding the situation so I could handle it appropriately.

So with that story as the back drop... I have thought a lot about snippets of truth lately and how conversations at home... on social media and at work are impacted by this approach. A small amount of information...while true...lacks a lot of other information to make informed decisions. It is only in digging deeper...asking clarifying questions and seeing things for yourself that the bigger picture is revealed. This additional information is critical to navigating the situation successfully. Otherwise the initial snippet of truth could lead you to other conclusions.

The Remedy

In most cases (barring what is happening in social media these day with trolls, bots and counter programming) people mean no harm in the approach. I don't think any of us are naturally good at delivering bad news and we want to get in and out of situations unscathed. This is especially true when executives are involved.

So...what's the remedy? Here are a few suggestions...

Don't Stop at the Snippet. I know we are all busy... we are consuming content quickly...scrolling... let's face it we are tired. As in the case of my Mother's Day...it would have been easy to just know she was home...roll over and go back to sleep. I don't regret asking the clarifying questions and staying with her until she was doing better

Trust YOUR Instinct. If it seems too good to be true...it most likely is. Especially in circumstances that you know have consequences if not dealt with quickly. It may be easier to move on and accept the snippets of truth at face value but you are only delaying the inevitable and it is better to address it sooner rather than later.

Seeing is Believing. This is my go to for pretty much every situation...especially with snippets of truth. Seeing things for yourself always enables the "aha moment" to bring clarity to the information you are consuming. This can apply to situations at work where there is a lot of email.. emotion and frustration...only to find out everyone is just parroting what they heard and the problem isn't as big as you were led to believe. The opposite is also true when you hear everything is "green" and on track. Yes the tasks were complete but the results and outcomes from the tasks did not achieve the anticipated results. Always ask "show me". It obviously applies to the story above. Once I saw what Emily was dealing with and knew what caused it...staying by her side was what was required

Put YOUR Big Girl Pants On. Don't shy away from difficult conversations. I said it before...I don't think we are naturally good at delivering bad news so we often find ways to frame things in a positive light. While it gets you out of an immediate situation... it doesn't buy you the time that you think it will. Kicking the can down the road most always comes back to bite you. Better to treat everyone "like adults". Be factual...be calm...be authentic...they can handle the news. Same can be true if things turn out to be NOT as bad as you originally thought. Better to flag it and it be a nothing burger.

In Closing...

Maybe because it has been on my mind I am seeing examples of Snippets of Truth all around me. I also don't know when speaking the truth...the whole truth or digging in to get more clarity around the truth became equated with being negative. Things do not always have to be unicorns and rainbows and ensuring we know where things stand takes nothing away from the hard work or accomplishments of others. In fact...I consider it the opposite.. we all need support through the good...the bad and the ugly. It erodes confidence and commitment when things are not be addressed in the most authentic.. truthful light. Trying to put a positive spin on things all the time is exhausting both at home and at work.

I will say... we all have to pick our spots because digging deeper on everything is not realistic and can hamper progress. My best advice to myself and others is focus on "the big rocks" and the rest will take care of itself.

I also believe that driving "common sense" clarity to situations is an under rated skill. Being able to connect the dots quickly and assess what needs more information and what is sufficient is something that we really only recognize when it is done well. Once we experience it...it's our responsibility to learn from it and pay it forward... you know...lead by example.

Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU!

What's YOUR most recent story or example of Snippets of Truth?
What was the outcome or lessons you would share with others?
When faced with Snippets of Truth...do YOU typically gloss over it and accept what you are presented with or do you dig deeper or does it depend?
What did YOU think of the remedies listed above? Any you would add or change? Do you have a favorite?
Do YOU think we swing the pendulum too far both for "unicorns and rainbows" as well as painting things in a negative light? Have you found that being truthful lately is viewed as being negative?
Can YOU think of someone who drives clarity and connects the dots easily? What ways would YOU describe what they do and how they do it? What steps could YOU take to emulate that behavior?

Thanks for reading….and remember…YOU make a difference!

Please continue the conversation by liking…commenting or sharing this article. You can also follow me on twitter @marciedwhite or on LinkedIn.

* Footnote: I smiled as I wrote this as it is now family folklore and comedy how I had to ensure I used a "sustainable" straw to get some fluids into Emily... not a disposable one... because they kill the sea turtles. Emily was adamant that she would not sip any water if there was a risk to the sea turtles. So rest assured no sea turtles were harmed in the process of her recovery. I do however highly recommend Pedialyte and Dramamine for a bad hangover if you ever find yourself in that predicament.